Happy THANKSgving

     Today is Thanksgiving, one of my favorite days of the year. Since it is the holiday, and most of my followers of this blog are family, I am going to make this one a bit of a personal one. To begin with what has inspired me for this blog with my elders, it was the thought that runs 100 miles an hour in my head, what have all these men and ladies gone through in life? Think about it. When I used to work at a grocery store, I always liked to wonder what burden the customers were carrying around with them as they were getting their shopping done. No matter how good life gets, there is always something to stress over. We all ultimately become the person that we are destined to become, and I think that that is because of experiences. Today, I would like to open up on why today is so special to me and the experiences that brought me to this.

June 23, 2015

   This is one of the most memorable days of my life. For those of you who do not know, I have 2 sons. My son that I birthed, and my stepson. All in all, they are both MY babies. We had 50/50 custody of our son EZT, and had just spent Fathers Day with him. We knew we were going to get him on Wednesday, or so we thought so, and then Tuesday came. This day is the day when my husband and I learned that our son, EZT, had moved to Florida on Monday. Just like that, gone.

     If anyone has gone through anything similar to this, then you know how hopeless it is in the court system when it comes to a fathers rights. How could this really be happening? What could we have ever done so awful in this world that we were being punished? Time went on, and visitations were limited. (If you live more than 100 miles apart from the custodial parent, then you only get 1 weekend a month. That means 2 days of flying all day, and 1 day to relax.) We hired an AMAZING lawyer, and it was game time.

     Horrible encounters, an ocean full of tears, endless cry's out to God, it seemed like we were never going to see light. As we were preparing for court, all we could think was "if we lose, we lose him. But, at least hopefully one day he will know that we tried EVERYTHING to have a relationship with him".

July, 2016

     After a ten hour court session took place, 2 weeks passed by, and then we get a call from our lawyer. "In the best interest of EZT, his residence is to be restricted to Lubbock County." We won! We fought hard, prayed hard, cried hard, and then we won! Some people like to make fun of my faith, but when you are in a hopeless situation and you have nothing else but to trust in Him, then you will understand how great He is. Life is a roller coaster. I do my best to try and understand why everyone does what they do. Some things can't be explained. This Thanksgiving we do not have him, but my heart is full at the thought that we saw him earlier this week. That now, we get to have him multiple days WEEKLY!

     Today I am thankful for my family, my Casarez side, Ramirez side, and Testerman side. If it weren't for them, and our God, my husband and I would never be able to have the pleasure of watching our son grow up, his first football game, his first day of school, meeting his first girlfriend, having the relationship that every parent should with their children. I have always heard the saying "there is nothing stronger than a mothers love", but I find that to be false. After this past year, my husband proved that a "daddy's love" is just as strong. Today, love your family, look around and see all that you are fortunate for. I apologize for the sobby post, and that it was not about my elders today, but I felt that today it was necessary. (Sorry Dr. Langford!!!!!!!) I did not finish what I am thankful for, I am thankful for Texas Tech University, all of the professors whom I have grown to love. I am thankful for my boys. They get on my nerves and drive me up the wall, but there is nothing that makes my heart smile than hearing their sweet laughs together. Lastly, I am thankful for my husband. I could go on and on about him, but I am going to make this short, sweet and to the point. Thank you for always being my rock, my supporter, and my best friend. I love cruising through life with you! Count your blessings y'all!
My little family.

Much love,
Jordan Testerman and family

Don't forget the cayenne pepper

     Sunday, I completed another 3 hours with my elders. The more I go up there to spend time with them, the more that I become attached. I was greeted by my girls, Miss L, LS and a new one DA. We began to complete another game of UNO. This blog will be short, but I can assure you, it will be good quality.

     UNO has become something that I look forward to doing. I see true emotions in them. They of course volunteer me to deal and shuffle the cards, and then we are off. Laughs are being exchanged because of the skip cards and draw 4 cards. DA is much slower than the other ladies. She is slow at speaking and can not speak very loud. Have I mentioned that LS is the spunky one? Well, SHE IS!! LS is always the one who is on patrol with whether or not we are playing the game correctly. 

     "You can't play that card." " Put all of your cards in your hands." "It is not your turn."

It's actually really funny to listen to, especially seeing all of these other ladies obey her. Little does LS know, I am a very observant person and when someone comes off as controlling, I like to watch what they do to see if they do as they teach. I noticed her putting down MANY of the wrong cards, and she also got mad whenever I called "UNO" on her..............twice. LS would not get off of DA's case. I mean come on now, give her a little bit of room to breath. Well DA finally decided she was not going to take it anymore. LS told her one last time to "not show your cards", DA held that card so close to LS face for the longest time! I could not help but laugh. Before I knew it, the two of them were arguing, I however thought of it as the slowest, quiet argument I have ever heard. 

     As it was time for me to leave, I could not figure out if I wanted to laugh or cry. Should I laugh because these are some spicy old ladies? Or, should I cry because they fought over a game of UNO? We too many times take for granted the things we have in life; being able to go grocery shopping, fighting with our kids, fighting with our loved ones, choosing to go visit our friends and families. As much as I HATE stressing over bigger things in life such as money, school, and more, that moment made me realize that I am fortunate to have these worries. Love everyone and everything, and don't ever lose your spice.

     

(BTW, this is the face that DA was making when she was shoving her card in LS face!!!)

Hypocrisy at its finest...

     I have been very hesitant to get back on here, but I can't backtrack from where I began. It has been almost a month since I have visited my elders. Once a week or two passed by, I began to make excuses to with-hold going back. Unfortunately I was fighting a lost battle because it is part of my class to complete service hours. Today, I decided to go back and complete 3 more hours. I was greeted at the door by helping an EXTREMELY heavy woman wheel her back inside the building!(Instant karma?)

    Day 2
     
     As I was walking down the hallway to check in, I felt convicted. I also thought that since these ladies had only seen me one time before, there was absolutely no way that they would remember me! Wrong. I walked into the social room, and I heard from Miss L, "I've been wondering when you were gonna back and see us!". My heart sunk. She gave me a big hug and then took a seat next to her. Right after that, here came LS. She's spunky and can come off strong. "And where have you been?" she asked me. I have to be honest here, I did not have a concrete answer. All I could do was apologize, and assure them that I would be visiting more often.
   
     Today was music day, we had a special guest come and sing old country music. I enjoyed it for the most part, but then as I started getting sleepy, I looked around and saw others sleeping as well! He took small breaks between songs, and that is when each of us would chat (without getting in trouble LOL). Last night was the CMA award show. I love country music, and so does Miss L and LS. I overheard them talking about how outraged they were that Beyonce performed with the Dixie Chicks! Gotta love the generation gaps!

     The music time was over, and it was time for cards. I was looking forward to getting my redemption with UNO. I played with Miss L, LS, a woman I will refer to as J, and a man whom I will refer to as R. I am kicking some booty y'all! LS is getting mad because I am dropping draw 4 cards on her left and right, they're not the only ones with good memory! Mr J had never played before, so LS decided she was going to teach him to play. She continually controlled him on what to play next to where he got to the point, looked at us, and then began to laugh. It was contagious! No matter how young or old we are, I just watched first hand that women are ALWAYS going to try and be in control!

     While playing cards, my mind always begins to ponder. The first time I went in there, there was just old people. Now, I see my ladies that I am growing attached to. It made me feel awful knowing that Miss L was looking for me in all of these weeks. She and LS asked if I could bring my Hayden (my son) to visit as well. I thought going into this, that I was going to get to do my hours and never look back. Today, I felt like the word "hypocrite" was tattooed across my forehead. Now that I have faced what I was most fearful of, which was going back to volunteer, I can now grow from here.

Let's do this..

     I am a senior at Texas Tech University. As part of my final project (and also 50% of my final grade I might add), I am to participate in some type of volunteer work with a social community. As much as I would love to refer to myself as a social butterfly, I am the complete opposite. We all have some quality that we choose to embrace. Mine is oblivion. I like to not know what is out there, I like to know that I can be comfortable in my own shell without having to see other people suffer. Oblivion is all mine. Well, thanks to Dr. Langford, I am forced to come face to face with my oh so beloved quality. Everybody has a journey, this is mine.
   
Day 1

     Today is October 6, 2016. I have decided to volunteer at the Lubbock Health Care Center nursing home. I am immediately intimidated and out of my comfort zone. I bring in my husband and my son to try and ease my nerves, only to find out that my baby is not allowed due to health reasons. (Go figure right?) Anyways, I assured my wonderful husband that I would be fine. He knew how uncomfortable I felt and was being the protector of me that I love him being. Off they went! After about 10 minutes of paper work and a background check later, I was on my way to "helping the elderly".
     Let me just assure you that I did not feel as if I was making a difference, I went in with the mindset of "Let's get these 15 hours over with". I walked into the dining room, where most of the activities take place, to see that it was fancy nail time for the ladies. A normal girl would have loved this. Me being the awkward person that I am, who also does NOT enjoy the touch of other people or the other way around, I was already ready to run out of there. But I did not. After introducing myself to each of the ladies, and them introducing themselves to me, I grabbed some gloves, took a seat, and began speaking to a woman who I will refer to as Miss L.
     Miss L was sweet, quiet, yet spunky. We immediately hit it off when I asked her about her kids. Miss L had 3 children whom she absolutely adored, and 11 grandchildren! She spoke about them with such pride. The only thing I could think, "Why is she here?". I finished her nails, and she very pleased with them.
     Next, there was who we will call LS. LS had dark hair, piercing blue eyes, and a voice that made me think "you do not want to get on her bad side!". Apparently, all LS ever wants is for her nails to be filed. I finished them in good time, but I did not speak much to her because I could not find a common interest in conversation. But then, she asked if I could paint her nails the same color as Miss L! I felt excitement. I guess no matter how young or old you are, there are just certain intangible impulses that make us girls.
     Lastly, there was P. P was a bit on the demanding side. She even started coaching me on how to file her nails the "right" way. To my defense with the nail polish, it was very old and seemed like the bottle had not been opened in a while! So of course, it was clumpy. It was the color she wanted, so onward I went with painting her nails. The first one came out okay. The second one, it was bad.. She saw it, said "YIKES", and I immediately fixed it. (I wanted to just crawl away!) Her nails did not turn out bad actually, but she was still so upset about the one bad nail that she wheeled herself off and stayed away until dinner time! (I am so sorry P!!!)
   Nail time was FINALLY over! (Thank God) It was time for some card games. I have never played UNO, but I am a quick learner and also competitive in everything that I do. I played with 2 of my ladies that I painted nails with, Miss L, and LS, as well as 3 other women. As we sat there and let me tell you, them ladies can kick some serious tail at UNO, I realized that this is their life. I knew that once my time was up, I was going to get to go home to my loving husband and babies. After UNO, what do they have? Dinner and then what? I have to wonder, what makes the world go round for these elders? 
     After 5 games of losing at UNO, lots of laughs, and MANY angry moments because of the +4 card, it was time for me to leave. As I was leaving, Miss L told me that she could not wait to have me back in there. I thought I would leave with the feeling of relief, knowing that I had completed 3 of my 15 hours. But instead, I have this hold inside of me. I am not oblivious anymore. This is real life, this is their life. It is time for a change. Here I am. 

Stay tuned y'all, this journey is only beginning!

Jordan Testerman